Against Feminism/MRA · Thoughts · Traditional Values

A Conversation With My Grandfather That Made Me Sigh

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Goodness knows I love my grandfather. He is a pillar, a great patriarch in the family and a responsible father. He is also quite a religious man and because of this, we tend to clash at times.

As I was the first granddaughter of the family, the first grandchild of his, we have a very close bond since I was a young girl. He always encouraged me to do well in my studies, reach for the stars and be a strong woman.

Except in this case be strong like a modern woman, even if the Bible itself speaks against women working out of home. Titus in the book Titus speaks about women being the keepers of the home. It’s there at Titus 2:5, read it! I know it and I’m not even Christian.

The hypocrisy that stemmed out of his argument, once I told him the ultimate occupation I wanted was to be a homemaker and a mother, was simply disappointing.

He basically said that oh well, Titus is outdated and so you can simply disregard that. Everyone should be working to earn their keep.

Now, aside from the intended insult that housewives do not ‘earn their keep’ (because apparently it’s just about money), I had some other issues. You can’t just cherrypick what you follow and not follow in the Bible, it’s either you faithfully follow it or you don’t. Dismissing something because it doesn’t help your argument it is childish and foolish. I have a great respect for the man we once called our patriarch but this illogical behaviour was something I would not tolerate.

It doesn’t make sense for you to call yourself a devout Christian and not believe in Titus’ teachings. This is not a historical issue like how people rode donkeys then and whatnot. Those were the historical settings but that very verse said by Titus has no historical attachment or reference, it is a general statement.

Women are meant to be the keepers of the home – plain, simple and timeless! You can’t follow a traditional Bible then tell the women in your life they have to act modern (?!).

I answered him. Well, shall we just label the whole book outdated?

Then he waved me off, I could see he was turning a little red. One thing I must say, his stubbornness was something both my father and I inherited. But of course, I am softer in voice, I do not yell and I present my points in a graceful fashion- sharp and witty but not aggressive.

So if he has a problem with how I argue my case and wants to know why I am like this…

…all he needs to do is look in the mirror.

(Though it was very satisfying to use his own Bible against him.)

11 thoughts on “A Conversation With My Grandfather That Made Me Sigh

  1. I always thought that “outdated” was one of the most ridiculous arguments ever. Chesterton’s fence is a far more sensible way to ask why anything isn’t present – and I always thought that a housewife more than “earns her keep” accounted around $70k a year by a purely objective measure.

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    1. Exactly! I do understand there are some good tidbits in the Bible. I’m not religious yet I can see why Titus would teach such a thing.
      Oh she definitely does! I read an article saying that too, but of course all that matters is an actual physical pay check, not the overall emotional and domestic value to the family. Great.

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  2. For not being a Christian, you sure seem to have a pretty good understanding of how the Bible is meant to instruct. You’re right, “cherry-picking” doesn’t make much sense.

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    1. Oh, I was baptized Catholic and spent a good number of my childhood years a Christian, haha. That’s why I have a good knowledge of the Bible, I still remember it. As I got older, I started noticing the cherry picking and got tired of it.

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  3. I’ve noticed some men from our grandfather’s generation be like that. Hostility towards housewives was at an all time high in the 60s and 70s. Society later moved on to talking about “choice,” and, even though the hostility was still there and the legal protections have definitely been eradicated, at least society isn’t so downright hostile to housewives anymore. But, yeah, I’ve met some older men that just turned their nose up at me like they had some kind of issues when they learned I stayed home. They make comments about us sitting on the couch all day and watching TV and stuff like that.

    Remember getting women OUT of the home was the first step. NOTHING could be accomplished until women were out of the home.Once women left the home then families could break down and men and women could fight each other and children could be handed off to strangers and never know what it’s like to have a real home and family.

    And conservatives and religious people are the WORST at criticizing tradition. I have found a lot more acceptance among liberals and even feminists than I have among so-called “conservatives.” EVERYONE cherry-picks data to suit their own needs. When you point out something in the Bible they will then say “Oh, but that was just their culture, it doesn’t apply now.” Really? If one part doesn’t apply does the rest of it also not apply?

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    1. That is so odd though? Here’s the real kicker, my grandmother used to be a housewife and still sort of is! She was a teacher but became a housewife when they were married. I don’t understand why he would display this behaviour, typical of the era as you say, when his own wife was a homemaker too? She was actually going in and out of the room as we spoke, she could have overheard that, I was irritated at my grandfather for saying such things that can be hurtful.

      I really think society began to break down when women left the home. There is a saying in my native language, similar to women being the ‘glue’ of the family. ‘Mothers are the light of the family’. When they left the home, it became dark, stressful and confusing.

      The family suffers the most.

      You’re actually quite right. I’m Conservative myself but at times I feel alienated. Most Conservatives are quick to fall for liberal ideals that suit them, ie my wife will start working, more money! Whoo (not)!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Miss Stepford

    Most people who call themselves Conservatives are really either Classical Liberals or Right Liberals. So for example some people regard our current Prime Minister Mr. Turnbull as a Conservative, but most people see through that. But if you ask them about our last Prime Minister, Mr, Abbot, most people will say yes he was a Conservative. But his major policy was getting more Mothers into the work force. That’s Liberalism not Conservatism.

    Enjoying the site so far.

    Mark Moncrieff
    Upon Hope Blog – A Traditional Conservative Future

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    1. Hi Mark and welcome!
      You make a very interesting point, I think the labelling of political parties in Australia is a little different compared to the US and the world that follows it. I definitely understand what you mean by the skewing of titles here in Australia, I would like to clarify and say that I do mean Conservatism in the most traditional of labels, moreso attuned to the US political climate. My favourite PM was John Howard, by the way.
      I’m glad you enjoy it! I’m also subscribing to your blog, for sure!

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    2. Well, one argument I’ve heard is that conservatives want to maintain things as they are, while liberals/progressives want to change things to a presumed ideal. As such, especially in Australia, probably most conservatives don’t actually want to particularly follow tradition as much as keep how things presently are.

      Technically, a reactionary is someone who wishes to alter things to how they were.

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      1. You definitely make a great observation. I just don’t understand why these so-called Conservatives keep criticising liberals because they are not traditional…but they don’t want to actually adhere to tradition themselves? Seriously.

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