Some months ago, at the start of my new relationship I made some commitments to myself to keep on my end on everything. These are the tenets that I wanted to act by, wise reminders and attitudes for several situations I might encounter in the relationship as well as the overall situation.
I think it’s about time for a little check up, as it is just about halfway through the year, sort of like spring cleaning. Only twice a year.
Let’s revisit the tenets, shall we?
1. I will not be aggressive.
Happily, I have not been aggressive at all, I know to trust and respect my significant other, though at some small times, I’ve had some minor questions. Sometimes it really is just me worrying and wanting to make sure we are doing the right thing if he suddenly decides to change a minor plan, only to catch myself in the act and allow myself to leave it up to him.
This is something like my partner moving an activity I wanted to do to next week, instead of this week. Is it going to challenge our whole relationship? No. End of story.
2. I will be his place of comfort.
Definitely I have been his place of comfort, his refuge. I have reminded him of this and he has reminded me also that he is a place of comfort for me. There even came a time that I really needed his comfort in distress!
3. I will know when to just let things be.
This was already covered, yes.
4. I will not compare him to other men.
Gladly, I have not done this. One time, while chatting with my best friend I did make an indirect reference to another man and their achievements but before I could compare I pursed my lips. She gave me a look and we chuckled together, then I said well, I am not comparing him to anyone!
5. I will not badmouth him.
Definitely not. I do receive some advice from close family, like my grandmother, about relationships in general and we do ultimately talk about my significant other and I regularly. I understand if she or anyone else has concerns to me and they voice it, I acknowledge and discuss it, however I did not have anything negative at all coming from me about him.
I also remember the extra thing. Have I been very positive to him, a source of joy and light? Oh yes! I am quite cheery in temperament and I’m always smiling and singing, I also love dancing. This seems to fascinate my partner and as he loves music as much as I do, we can definitely share that passion. He thinks I can be quite charming, though I did not really realise this…I think it may be something that I’ve developed from spending so much time with young children. Having to comfort them, persuade them to learn or even just to encourage them to have fun.
Who can blame me though? I love being around little children, fussing over them and taking care of them.
Overall, I believe I’ve done well over the last few months and I hope to be improving even more. I’d be lying if I said I don’t want to be a mother and wife.
A family friend once said I seemed a little different when I am around my partner, more refined in some ways or serious. My answer as to why that is is simple.
I am a daughter, a sister and a granddaughter. While I live through these roles everyday, these are not the only roles I will have in life. I will get older and eventually become a wife and mother- I need practice. Myself as a wife and mother would be a different version of myself as a daughter, sister or granddaughter as I would have different responsibilities. There will be more and when the time does come, I want to be able to step up to the plate completely.
I don’t want to be fumbling and crash-coursing while standing before it, I will be ready and smiling.