It’s such a simple word and many people associate with being polite to your elders or even teachers and other authority figures.
While it does mean those things, when it comes to love and marriage, people seem to have a limited concept of what respect is.
Especially, respect for your husband or partner.
This is for the ladies.
I have mentioned respect and trust before as the foundations to a true, lasting love. Though of course, I would be a bit of a hypocrite if I don’t explain what I mean exactly by trust and respect. I feel these things need to be explicitly laid out (so yes, I will have a post about trust later, too!) so that people can understand it well.
Maybe you’ve heard the ‘respect your partner’ saying somewhere in a quote or even being told this by a friend or family member. However, do you really know what it means?
Respect means letting your man make the right choices without interfering.
It is hard to swallow, it is a difficult thing – I can already hear some people starting with their ‘But but what if!’
Of course, like all things (especially with me), there are exceptions. Unless in a situation where your whole relationship can be damaged or you can be placed in serious physical, emotional or economical danger, respect your partner’s choices.
It has to be life or whole relationship-changing.
For example, if your partner decides to go and visit a friend’s house this week, something you wanted to do, then he changes it to next week, unless there is something vital about that visit (truly vital or maybe it’s already been overdue for months, it’s truly built up), just agree. Is it going to really change anything in the big picture of things?
If the answer is no, respect him and follow.
Men deserve respect, while women deserve to be cherished in turn. You may respect, though of course he also has a role to play, which is to make sure the decisions he makes is for the best of the both you (which means you!). He makes you feel cherished by accomodating your needs and desires, while you trust and respect him.
So how do you do this?
When your SO asks for your opinion (if he asks), then give your view or your advice. If you do need something or feel he is overlooking something, you can put this gently while still respecting him. Remember to do this only if you really need to!
‘Honey, I feel ___ about ____’
‘I would love if ___’ (Though phrase it in a way that you’re not telling him to do something, like an order!)
A wonderful SO and leader will take your words into account in his decision and at the end of it all, when he then decides you need to respect it. Not every matter will require him to decide, if there are small things you are handling yourself you can simply decide by yourself. This isn’t for every single thing in the relationship- there are major matters and there are average ones too. The major ones are the most important for him to decide, but with consideration to you (if need be).
Why is respect so important?
No, it’s not because your man is insecure.
No, it’s not because you’re becoming a slave.
By respecting your partner as a man, he will then cherish and regard your desires even more. Respect, especially this type of direct respect is so, so important to a man, even more so than a woman (gasp!). It is what makes them feel loved and treasured and when this happens, in turn they will also love and treasure you. That’s quite the optimal situation!
That is the way biology is, generally men feel the most loved by being respected and women feel the most loved when cherished. When one party is happy and loved they tend to reciprocate so the other party will feel the same way (only jerks don’t do that).
If you are a good partner and so is your SO, respect can be a powerful scaffold the love of your relationship.
Then again, who am I to say?
I’m just a twenty-something in a relationship who hasn’t been married yet.