Now you’re on the date with a woman who seems to be great company, so of course you also want to be great company for her. How should you conduct yourself? Here are a few tips from me.
The key is to be friendly and warm, not loud or boastful as many try to impress women (that or shrink away and let her talk).
- Speak pleasantly at the beginning, not too loud or shy and quiet. Speak thoughtfully and simply, smile every now and then.
When you are facing each other and having a coffee or even eating at your first date, the most important thing to begin with is your banter. The best way to describe a great demeanour for conversation is to pretend you are talking to a new friend. That’s right- a new friend. You are talking in a medium tone, friendly, open though not too personal as you aren’t close yet. Talk about everyday events and happenings.
- Answer and ask questions constantly.
This shows you are interested in her and always keeps the conversation going. This also eases the pressure of trying to bring up new topics to talk about. Dive a little deeper into the topics you both already spoke about from when you first met or online, show that you are curious. A curious person is a thoughtful one, she will definitely appreciate your efforts in getting to know her. Of course, also answer her questions in turn and try to answer with more than a few words- engage the conversation and let it move smoothly from topic to topic when it’s supposed to.
- Would you like for me to _? Be helpful and gentlemanly.
Another way you can show her that you can be thoughtful is by offering to help her or even people you come across when the need arises. Don’t offer so much help that it becomes annoying but if you recognise a need (the cliche old woman crossing the street, help carrying things, help finding directions). This doesn’t happen often and you may not even get more than a single chance to help whenever you’re together, though it’s great to recognise the moments she or other people are need. Really, just be a helpful person in general!
- Don’t take any risks yet.
When it comes to the first few dates, don’t divulge anything too personal or ‘risky’, by this I mean crass jokes, overly embarrassing stories and the like. Events that are sensitive to you personally should be a no-go either. There will be time for it later on future dates and if you every develop into having a relationship together. Further on, you can divulge little by little about more personal things and more of your views and perspectives.
- Minimise talk about work.
Unless you happen to have an extreme passion for your work and you both share the same profession, keep the talk about work to a minimum. The only exception is if she expresses a great interest and asks plenty of questions about your work. Most people usually like their work though they spend enough of their whole week at work, they’re in front of you to hopefully relax and have a good time. They don’t need to be reminded of work (or your work, especially if you have lots of negative things to say) on a date.
This is of course, a general outline of how pleasant your demeanour should be and some ideas about having your conversations. If you are easy to talk to, asks questions, is thoughtful and helpful you will prove yourself to be a great company that she would love to see again.
But what about her? It’s time to: Determine Red And Green Flags.