Working on yourself is the best thing you can do when it comes to dating. At the end of the day, you can only control and improve yourself.
However- you would want to be with a quality woman with great value who also controls and improves herself. So how do you know if she is really worth your time and will also be great company?
Keep in mind my flags are very traditional (it’s in my headline!) and there may be a couple of things that may need to be shifted slightly for some more modern guys. Despite that, the general idea is the same; you want a nurturing, warm woman who can foster happiness, she can then bring joy and support into your life as you do with hers.
- Becomes negative quickly
- Speaks badly of exes
- Tells you what to do for dates/decides for you without prompting
- Bad habits (smoking, drinking, etc)
- Speaks and acts very inconsistently
- Is neat and knows housework
- Smiles constantly and positive in attitude
- Praises and thanks you often
- Creative, warm and caring
- Loves family and children
You may want to build your own red and green flags list based on or on top of mine. One thing you can only add yourself is personality aspects and values that you would like to see in a good woman, add about two to three and those very things would be the ultimate non-negotiables out of all the flags. I still remember mine from when I was single:
- A truly old-fashioned man who believes in gender roles
- A man who is always looking to improve himself
- A man who takes pride in being a protector and provider
I can proudly say my partner fills in all three of these main flags that I had been focusing on. The less superficial and the more meaningful the list can be, the better. It’s always easier to approach the dating scene with a clear system in mine, a rough structure of what you want meaningfully and how you plan to get there.
One thing to remember in dating is that the planning and the approach only gets you so far, past the first couple of months, maybe. As for the flags and the values, those will run deeper, even until the very moment you decide you want to propose. After the first couple of months, don’t lose focus once you are past the initial dating stage and shift that focus to relationship values, relationship skills.
I tell many women that you can only be accountable for yourself in the relationship, though the same goes for men. At the end of the day, you must use what you know and what you believe in to truly determine if she is worth it all..
…if she is the one you want to watch walking down that aisle to you.
…if she is the one you want to hold hands with once yours get wrinkly.
Only you would know and choose, since that’s what daring men do. Good luck and happy dating!