Thoughts · Traditional Values

Dear Parents, Your Kid’s Teachers Are Not Their Parents


As someone who already has plenty of teaching experience and is currently studying teaching, I’ve been noticing a pattern with parents’ behaviour towards their children’s schooling in the recent decades, especially comparing Asian and Western countries.

It happens much more in Western countries rather than Asian countries though it’s been happening all the same.

Parents need to stop expecting teachers to act like a second proper set of parents. Our role is to teach your children important educational essentials and care for them to a certain extent. Extent being the keyword. We are not a daycare centre, we are not a blow-up version of you.

I see this attitude through parents being absent to bring or pick up their kids from school, relying on after school care completely, relying on the grandparents and not engaging with their children’s homework, educational apps and then complaining that they don’t feel updated about their child’s educational progress. I see this in the way the school reports are changing through the years, adding more categories (rubbish like social health, tracking their learning status every two weeks/more frequently, etc) for teachers to observe and fill in.

Unless your situation is dire, if you are choosing to work and spend more time with that than engaging in the education of your child, then this is your fault.

It is not our role to watch for your child’s everyday social health to this extent, it is not our role to tell you which exact letter your child can write and not write at any given week of the term. That should not be our role. If you spend enough time with your children, then you should already know these things.

Once again, this all comes down to the culture of basically being too absorbed with work and hectic lifestyles that quality bonding time is treated as idle and unproductive. You don’t have to be sitting there and re-teaching everything they learn at school. You can figure this out just by talking to them enough and seeing what they do and write after a period of time. To many parents, though I know not all, it is more important to have more money so that little Henry can have the newest PS4, Xbox and Nintendo all the time. You know what will be more beneficial to little Henry in the long term? Knowing Mum and Dad better, having good memories, always having Mum to turn to and having lots of talks and learning together. 

Again, if your situation is dire, like how in my late teens I only had my father as he was a single parent, some parents don’t have the time with their burdens. That can’t be helped, yet this is in the minority.

Though if you willingly chose this lifestyle, then to me you are simply a bad parent. Materials and a comfy lifestyle will never trump having quality time with parents. Grandma and Grandpa are not parents, don’t be surprised if they respect and listen to them more than they do to you.

Don’t be surprised when your children grow up to be rebellious and distant towards you, how could they obey and understand someone who they barely know? Someone who they only see a couple of hours a day?

They don’t.

They just won’t.

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