I guess I can’t help but come to this conclusion based on recent events!
I was recently at a social gathering where I got to meet plenty of the outer circle of my SO’s friends. They were all great and I enjoyed myself, I love getting along with everybody and getting to hear what they have to say, especially since they’re new to me. Maybe I am a little naive in the way that I just get along with everybody and notice things only much later.
My initial view of the event was that I got along with them all fairly well, there were jokes to be cracked and funny little stories.
Only for my SO to tell me later in the evening that he was offended that one of his female acquaintances (from past work) told him to ‘take really good care of me’ and was asking him if he was treating me right. Simply because some of the things I said to her was that I am fairly old fashioned and domestic (She found out I knitted things for my SO) in basically every way. I am very proud of the way I live now and when we were getting to know each other, she said something about being empowered and I said well…I feel very empowered in the kitchen and I’d like to stay there.
Not as a joke, she knew that.
Now she knows my SO better than she would know me, yet he was quite insulted she would make an assumption that because I am very traditional and that our relationship was traditional that I was ‘oppressed’ or in danger in some way.
See, I don’t blame her exactly, it is just a symptom of the current social climate, she is just being the ‘average’ person in that climate. It’s the social climate itself that really annoys me. It reinforces to me how alone I am here in Melbourne, how many women don’t share my domestic way of life or my traditional values. While I have friends who respect what I do (I respect them too in turn), I actually don’t have a female friend who lives the way I do. It really sucks when I think about it like that.
However on the bright side, when it came to his male friends, they basically had glowing reviews of me. They were more open towards me, only gave great compliments and didn’t really care (some even thought it was quite cool) that I was very old-fashioned! A couple of them I had a conversation about values would and both men very much agreed and was interested in what I had to say. There was no hostility, unsureness or the “Are you sure you’re empowered?” vibe.
That, I’ve really only gotten from women.
A few times before I have been flirted on by men who seemed more traditional, they dressed more old-fashioned and acted very gentlemanly, they would tip their hats at me or help me with something. Of course I politely decline, though I am starting to see this so much more now. Just in the last year. Not just this, I mean on top of that, when I talk about traditional values, men have tended to agree more with me or just be really open to discussing it without hostility or reserve.
This was definitely a change compared to my perspective before I started this blog- back then I was convinced that there were no traditional guys out there, even women as well.
Yet, my experiences this year has definitely changed my view on the men. Not counting online communities, I think there are actually more traditional men (or men willing to show their more traditional colours) now than ever within the last few years. This is just a theory, I have no statistics and this is just social observation, I won’t claim this as an absolute truth. Though I really feel there is a change and men are just more open to be more traditional, women are the more unsure and maybe even in denial of the idea. Sometimes even hostile.
Despite all this MGTOW and some of the bitter TRP stuff, I actually think there is hope out there regarding the men.
All I can say for the ladies is hold on and keep looking! Keep being the pleasant, lovely ladies you are. As for the good guys out there, we will be able to see who you are so keep up the gentlemanliness and great values!