One thing I have truly come to realise lately, something I’ve always known though I’ve never really explored in my thoughts is how important quality time is.
The moment I chose to be a domestic woman, more at home than work and definitely full-time at home when I have children, I knew and accepted I would be judged for the rest of my life.
Since I believe in the concept of quality time.
Unless the situation is dire, my beliefs remain the same regarding how much time I spent at home with my family, my husband, children or no children.
Now what is quality time to me?
Quality time may not seem important or big at first, I don’t mean special events or going on holidays or anything to that scale. It’s the little moments everyday and even the longer ones. It’s talking with a loved one and laughing for an hour, it’s watching funky Youtube videos for a couple of hours that may seem silly though you’re enjoying yourself. It’s getting to sit there and knit while listening to somebody rant or watching them play with a game console. It’s the pockets of time between work and duties where you can just kick back and enjoy, even if it’s something that’s so simple.
These are the things that are all the more possible for my family, especially my future husband when I already take care of everything at home for them by the time they arrive. That can also apply to my future children when they get back from school. The weekends are also free. There can be elaborate home cooked meals all the time, just great for dinner time at the family table.
These are the moments that you look back on after many years since they are worth more than money and materials can ever buy. I have a relative that works with old people and I hear this all the time- do you think you will care if you got a bigger house or not, whether you put the kids through private or public school or not, when you’re 90+?
Concentrate on money and assets for your children instead of time, then they will care more about your inheritance than your company when you are old and wrinkled, it happens all the time and you see it in all the elderly places like hospitals and the elderly homes.
The precious moments and memories will matter a lot more, they are worth so much more than many of the logistics that we tend to end up worrying about most of our lives. We worry so much and obsess to the point we stop enjoying life. Logistics and practicalities are important, however there is a balance with the enjoyment of life.
Of course, when it is not possible due to extreme circumstances, that’s understandable and it happens. I’m talking about otherwise.
For a significant period of my life I lived with a single father, who raised my sibling and I and there were times we struggled to make ends meet. We are in Australia luckily, a first world country where we don’t have to worry about being homeless and starving as a family and I just appreciate that so much. In the recent years I’ve lived with little and though we don’t have a lot as a family, we are not rich with money- we are rich with experiences. Memories.
As long as you have the basics covered, true happiness in life comes not out of money and material things, it comes out of the special ways you make out of your time and how often you get more of that quality time.
The modern world and media loves telling people they will be happy if they get this or buy that and go here. They tell people they will be happy with things and places- then people just get depressed, isolated and saddled with debt. Searching for meaning and happiness, you see it all the time from all the fads coming out.
Happiness lies within the connections you make with the people you love, the time you spend with them.
In history there is a general reason why peasants were considered to have less quality of life, since they have no choice but to work for so long all the time and don’t have much time for family. The higher classes had better chances for a quality of life since they had more time on their hands to make connections and pursue interests. I’m not saying they all did, a lot of them didn’t and were just greedy or pathetic, though that’s human nature. You don’t have to be rich to be greedy and pathetic.
I see the main differences between them in terms of time and I refuse to be a peasant to the rush of life if I can help it.