Against Feminism/MRA · Traditional Values

When Women Turn Against Each Other In Family

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As a traditional woman, I definitely find one thing very sad when I try to help other women who want to live a traditional life.

Even those in general that I just speak with.

Their female family members almost always turn on them.

I am in my early 20s and I see this occur with women basically my age or even a little younger or older. When they start feeling that they want to live more traditionally or want to be more open about being domestic or traditional, they receive (or fear receiving if they haven’t come out yet) backlash from their heavily feminist mothers.

Typically, as cited in my previous blog’s article link, many of these feminist mothers were either single mothers that didn’t have time for their daughters or were heavily working mums who still didn’t have time as well- many traditional women now who had them as mothers did not enjoy the lack of quality time with their mothers, which is part of the many reasons they have leaned towards being traditional. They just didn’t want the same childhood for their children.

Now these feminist mothers from the previous generation are still stuck in this way of thinking, mothers of the 70s, 80s and sometimes even the 90s couldn’t really imagine mothers to be homemakers (especially without children) at all. Sometimes this also extends to the grandmothers, basically anyone from the 60s and onwards, grandmothers and mothers would even work together against their traditional grand/daughter.

How shameful.

What really frustrates me the most and makes me feel sorry for these women is that these female family members should be more supportive and respectful since they are family. That’s what families do and I know that no family is perfect, though you would normally expect family to be more supportive than everyone else. There is still that general consensus since family is what is normally the closest people to you.

Especially as a mother, that is your own flesh and blood, if she wants to be more traditional, it’s no mother’s place to discourage or judge their child unless they are actually harming anybody.

Maybe I can be an idealist at times, I just expect more from family.

I for one can rely on my grandmother’s acceptance and support, which I truly appreciate. Once she was reassured that I can really live a traditional life here in Australia without much risks (as she worries about everything but bless her!) she was quick to accept me. I know my aunties would judge me though, they would label me outdated and maybe even lazy- though when you come from an Asian family that can be very harsh with judgements, I’ve truly learned to not give a f*ck after all these years.

I am a bit of a professional at it.

What worries me though, is other women. Other women who may not have as thick a skin as I do, who are still scared of admitting they want to live domestically and traditionally, only to be beaten down and become even more scared because of their female family, the women who are supposed to be the most supportive women in her life.

Family is supposed to help each other.

As someone who wants to be a mother and grandmother someday, I want to say to all those unsupportive mothers and grandmothers:

Get your head out of your *ss.

Act like the maternal nurturer you’re supposed to be.

2 thoughts on “When Women Turn Against Each Other In Family

  1. Thank you so much for writing this.

    It is very important to have alternative viewpoints to the current modern social paradigm which has done so much to damage families over the past 50 years. Your words can give inspiration to those that are not sure if it is the right path for them after all of the negative ideas from family, friends and modern western society in general.

    I believe that we can eventually change the prevailing social norms as I believe that people are mostly good at heart, and once they see the benefits to their children and family of more traditional views they will increase in popularity in the future. That is why this time is the most important for us, as we are some of the first people to espouse these views and are critical in showing that this way of life can work well for most people.

    Growing up as a child with two parents who both worked full-time and seeing how stressed they were all of the time just to make a bit more money that we don’t really need instead of spending their time with their kids was very distressing for me (and I only had one sibling, so I can imagine it would be even harder if not close to impossible if you want to have 3 or 4 or more children).

    I also now know that it is very possible to do okay financially with only one parent working full-time, especially if you want to have 3 or more kids. Having a stay at home parent helps to save a lot of money on childcare, gives you more time to plan and prepare meals (that are cheaper and more nutritious) and gives support to the working parent which allows them to do even better in their working life. On top of that it gives you more time to exercise, and spend time with your family which keeps you happy and healthy in the long run which will reduce health care costs and reduce sickness.

    It is also possible to set up your finances in a way that can reduce taxation too (for example here in Australia, putting shares in your wife’s name so that the dividends and capital gains are not taxed as she does not work and so on). So overall, I think people will be better off with this traditional setup and hope I can find a woman who agrees with me (which is why your blog is so important!).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks very much, Kane! I’m glad you enjoyed my thoughts.

      Indeed it does seem hopeless for the traditional way of life right now, though like you, I believe the tides will turn. I like to believe in the best (despite being quite pessimistic at times in some of my posts!) and it’s in history- we have always rotated around traditional ways of life for most of history. It’s simply because it works.

      Modernisation has just gotten in the way of that eschewed values, though I think we will find out way back. I have experienced having a housewife mother and then a working mother at the same time, though I prefer the former, the benefits were much more worth it. We were an immigrant family trying to fit in and not knowing better.

      Indeed it is! We are so rigid in a modern lifestyle, that most people just don’t even think of it. People also have so many preferences, this has to be this expensive or not, ‘I won’t settle for less than blah’ and this sort of attitude has just become the norm. I definitely agree with you with all of your views, the most important thing is having the time with family and having a parent at home helps that, at the end of the day that is worth much more than money. I didn’t think about it in the health perspective, but you make a good point!

      There are definitely ways to make money work for you and stretch more in Australia! I cannot stress this enough, people need to make money work for them, for the system to work for them rather than the other way around. A traditional setup has been proven through time, the effects of deviating from it have been so negative and we are seeing that now. I hope to help more women embrace their traditional values so you can then find a lovely woman!

      Like

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