As a traditional woman, I definitely find one thing very sad when I try to help other women who want to live a traditional life.
Even those in general that I just speak with.
Their female family members almost always turn on them.
I am in my early 20s and I see this occur with women basically my age or even a little younger or older. When they start feeling that they want to live more traditionally or want to be more open about being domestic or traditional, they receive (or fear receiving if they haven’t come out yet) backlash from their heavily feminist mothers.
Typically, as cited in my previous blog’s article link, many of these feminist mothers were either single mothers that didn’t have time for their daughters or were heavily working mums who still didn’t have time as well- many traditional women now who had them as mothers did not enjoy the lack of quality time with their mothers, which is part of the many reasons they have leaned towards being traditional. They just didn’t want the same childhood for their children.
Now these feminist mothers from the previous generation are still stuck in this way of thinking, mothers of the 70s, 80s and sometimes even the 90s couldn’t really imagine mothers to be homemakers (especially without children) at all. Sometimes this also extends to the grandmothers, basically anyone from the 60s and onwards, grandmothers and mothers would even work together against their traditional grand/daughter.
What really frustrates me the most and makes me feel sorry for these women is that these female family members should be more supportive and respectful since they are family. That’s what families do and I know that no family is perfect, though you would normally expect family to be more supportive than everyone else. There is still that general consensus since family is what is normally the closest people to you.
Especially as a mother, that is your own flesh and blood, if she wants to be more traditional, it’s no mother’s place to discourage or judge their child unless they are actually harming anybody.
Maybe I can be an idealist at times, I just expect more from family.
I for one can rely on my grandmother’s acceptance and support, which I truly appreciate. Once she was reassured that I can really live a traditional life here in Australia without much risks (as she worries about everything but bless her!) she was quick to accept me. I know my aunties would judge me though, they would label me outdated and maybe even lazy- though when you come from an Asian family that can be very harsh with judgements, I’ve truly learned to not give a f*ck after all these years.
I am a bit of a professional at it.
What worries me though, is other women. Other women who may not have as thick a skin as I do, who are still scared of admitting they want to live domestically and traditionally, only to be beaten down and become even more scared because of their female family, the women who are supposed to be the most supportive women in her life.
Family is supposed to help each other.
As someone who wants to be a mother and grandmother someday, I want to say to all those unsupportive mothers and grandmothers:
Get your head out of your *ss.
Act like the maternal nurturer you’re supposed to be.