Lately I’ve had the pleasure of attending a traditional Catholic wedding, the latest I’ve seen in a long, long time. The last time was when I was a young flower girl so my memories are very fuzzy.
The heavy sentiment that a wedding brings, the mix of the tension waiting for a late bride, feeling minuscule in the house of God and the emotional impact every word of every vow spoken in front of the eyes of the Lord and everyone you’ve ever known- these all settle in me slowly, like an engraving carefully carving itself into the strongest, most ornate of gold.
Then the message is finally finished, the engraving is complete.
Am I ready for this?
Marriage is painted as merely a legal event now, a way to set things straight financially for most couples and combining things. I myself know better, know that it is more than that. I know it’s heavy importance and yet, these last few days, I’ve seen marriage, the start of a marriage and it’s symbolic beginnings right in the flesh.
It’s a holy promise to God.
It’s a statement of devotion for life.
It’s allowing your soul and every last of you to be bound together with another, giving in to that belonging.
It’s telling the world you’ve found the greatest meaning of romantic love.
It’s committing to them and to yourself, that you’ve forged the greatest love and that there will be no other.
It really does bring a whole new layer of reality, how can one be truly ready for this?
I’m not somebody who takes anything like this lightly, I take traditions into heart very heavily. Christmas, birthdays, I truly absorb the meaning they bring and when it comes to my wedding day that is even amplified. A wedding is the start of a marriage, a new chapter and as a result a new version of you that will face the world.
You will become a wife and before that, fully promised. For many people, that is shedding the last of your childhood and taking on a new level of responsibility of adult life. I enjoyed my childhood with my little family, even when we went through so many hardships, I am content. Even now I am happy.
Maybe it is the realization setting in. It brings things into perspective.
You think you know marriage and even a wedding until it all dawns on you. When you’re facing it and even with the elderly, the result of years of success you rarely see anymore. You ask yourself, how do you get to that? You know the tenets and the right things to do, yet still…
..how do you get that far?
Maybe I am simply feeling nervous or something to that extent, I’m not so sure. I know that this is no cold feet, simply the onset of a deep realization about marriage and at the start of it, a wedding. A traditional wedding.
The start of a whole new chapter.