I knew when I decided to live my life in this way, prioritising time for my family first and foremost as a domestic woman, that I would be judged for this for the rest of my life.
Discriminated against, especially and maybe even openly hated.
While I know this very well, it can be difficult when you face this straight from the ones you love. Family.
My SO’s family is in a precarious situation, since one of his family members has a serious condition and is in hospital. I did have the flexibility of time to spend a few days with him and them, since his family is small and he has been trying to shoulder the emotional burdens, trying to be the strong one for them and in turn, I want to be there for him so he did have someone to lean on.
Meanwhile, someone close to me in my own family had been off-handedly mentioning to me how they don’t like people who don’t ‘work’, that being at home makes someone a vegetable. I brushed this off before, however, today is definitely a bit of a challenge. They made a comment across from me to another person that you wouldn’t want to have children and be at home ‘as a baby-talker’, that housework was useless and boring, easily solvable with $100 a week. They knew I was listening and they knew that my SO and I had decided to live our lives prioritising time for family instead of work. I know they don’t like me for that.
It does hurt when someone so close to you, someone you actually care for and want to support, treats you this way in turn. I know they are still going through a tough time, so of course I did not say anything. Now, I have not let my SO know since he is already dealing with so much emotionally. I don’t want to be an added burden.
When I think back to the time I decided to change the course of my life and live this way, I accepted this truth about indefinite judgement and discrimination.
However, this is one of those times when this truth really sinks in, it hits deep within home and for a little while, it causes great sadness and one becomes upset. You get it out then, for a bit.
At the end of the day, I know I’ve been through worse than this. Much worse and I know how strong I can be. I grew up somewhere where life is so much more harder and dangerous, I’ve experienced hardships in my own family and I’m better than this. My SO needs me and I will be the supportive, steadfast woman that he loves at this stressful time.
When difficult times like these come along, you will see your SO at their most stressed, saddest and not always the cheery self they are when they are enjoying their time with you. You will see them go through moods, maybe even become unresponsive or seemingly inconsiderate towards you- this is when you need to exercise utmost patience and understanding. They are not fully aware of their emotions and the extent it affects people, at least just for now. Let them move through the hardships and work through their feelings for some time while being at their side and offering steady support. As they say, it all comes to pass. This will pass.
These are the kinds of things that happen that makes a person. Make, not break.