Thoughts · Traditional Values

Being Conservative Without Being Religious Pt. 2: Do I Still Go To Church?


Still reading after finding out I’m not a religious Conservative?

Kidding! That’s alright.

In fact, I’ve only received the warmest regards and comments from women in the same category when I wrote my first post, so I thought I could elaborate my stance about religion a little more.

Simply because I am not a Christian, does not mean I dislike Christianity or even Catholicism. I dislike the harm it has caused in the past and some of the prejudices it causes today. Though really, in my general view, Christianity hardly poses much of a threat in the modern Western world. A lot of people find it easy to turn away or ignore Christianity. There are an increasing amount of atheists and agnostics.

You know what, though?

I still go to Church.

Yes, I do. I am a baptised Catholic and I did complete my First Communion so I have all the rights to go to a traditional Catholic church (I have a strong distaste for liberal churches like some of the Baptists or worse, Anglicans). I actually very much enjoy going to Church, which I do every now and then with my SO. He is also a baptised Christian, so we have that in common.

The Church is definitely a place of refuge, though it used to be a bit frightening to me in the past. The statues of weeping saints and Mary, the gargoyles and the blood and all that frightened me asa child. I understand fear was definitely evoked in order to encourage you to seek out more comfort in Christ. It had been a tactic.

Now, it just inspires awe and a sense of grandeur to me, since a lot of Churches look beautiful, the choir music calms and brings a sense of inner peace. The messages from the Bible that the priest preaches about definitely has good lessons and reminds me of some great values to think about through the week. and how I can apply them.

Another interesting point I think on when I’m in Church is that it makes me feel..small.

Under the grandiose buildings, architecture and art, the massive statues of Jesus and Mary looking down at you, you feel so human, just one part of many and it reminds me of the importance of humility. To keep an open mind and always be willing to listen to possible answers. To accept that I do not know everything and have much to learn, guidance to accept if it comes. I’m human, I make mistakes and I just have to try my best.

Despite technically being an agnostic and not devout to Christianity- I actually still pray at times. I don’t believe that there is no God. I believe that God may exist, though in various ways that we don’t expect. He could be just tired after all this time, trying to focus on Himself, He could be more human and just trying to get on. I personally do not believe He is perfect and knows and does everything- or that God is even just a one He.

There could be a pantheon. Sometimes I think God or the Gods are more human than we think, they have the same talents and flaws, though probably to a greater extent and with bigger effects since they have powers and can live forever. Maybe sometimes they don’t listen to prayers because they are busy or have been wronged by humans so many times. Maybe sometimes they are up to no good, they aren’t perfect all the time. The Christian God is a jealous God, while the Greek pantheon have Gods who also gets jealous, angry, happy and generally moody.

You never really know.

Yet when I am in the middle of a Catholic Church, I accept the fact that the God in front of me could be the real one. The only God. With that possibility I talk to Him, ask him how he is, tell him a little about my thoughts on my life lately and if he has some guidance, I’m happy to accept it if it comes. This is a rare occurrence.

More commonly, I converse and pray to Mother Mary. I ask her how she is, tell her a bit about me and what’s going on with my life and I ask her for a very important thing. To lend me constant guidance, if she could, about being a good matriarch and nurturing woman to my family and all the ones I love.

So I can be prepared to become a wife and mother who brings lots of light, love and refuge as the heart of the home and the family.

6 thoughts on “Being Conservative Without Being Religious Pt. 2: Do I Still Go To Church?

  1. I think I might be in the same boat as you. I don’t really like religion, but I love religiosity if you know what I mean. I enjoy the culture and history that has come from religion and still marvel at the architecture of churches. I too also pray at times. It’s silly because I am an agnostic, but something about it is just so humbling and comforting.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I definitely think so too! I do believe in a God/gods though I really don’t think anyone has enough authority or knowledge to define exactly what They would be. I keep my mind open about that. Prayer can also help with focus and humbling oneself, that’s true.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I like churches, especially old ones. I am baptised (lutheran), too, and have had my first communion. Every now and then I go to orthodox cruch near us. It is such a lovely place. I also pray every now and then, but I just repeat the “Jesus prayer”. I find it very soothing.

    I have even thought about joining orthodox church. Not because I believe what they teach, but because of the huge impact church has in society. We do not have catholic church in my country and our Lutheran church thinks we should build a huge mosque to muslims in our capital city. Our lutheran church is rotten. We are in desperate need for new Luther…

    Orthodoc church, on the other hand, is going strong. Especially in Russia (which is our neighbour). They believe in traditional western values. It is huge cosmic irony that Russia from all countries is the only one is Europe that actually tries to protect traditional european values…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my goodness, I didn’t see this! Sorry, hun.

      I do love the Orthodox churches, they are similar to the Catholic ones but their distinct European flavour is also refreshing for a Roman Catholic like me. They definitely have an old fashioned feel to them!

      I definitely think I would return to going to Catholic Church more often. To reconnect with my past and as a form of meditation on my own values.

      I really don’t like the sound of the Lutheran church there, it sounds similar to the liberal ways of the Anglican church here.


  3. My eyes started welling with tears reading this post.

    I don’t attend church. I used to enjoy two, but found one to be really focused on the $$ and feelings.

    Part of me wants to attend church again, but for various reasons, I don’t.

    I hope to find a group of people somewhere that I can talk to about things that I don’t normally share outside of a tiny sphere of influence that I have.

    There is so much pain in this world that I don’t want to contribute anymore to it. I know that I will fail and that I am currently failing…really badly.

    I know that I have some choices to make that may further mark me as strange.
    I am already strange, so whatever.

    I want to meet some people who having more informal meetings and living humbly.

    I want more of a community that I read about in the Bible.

    I do miss people singing hymns.

    It was so different from the faster, more self-pleasing music I heard before.

    I want to be different as well.

    I feel like we may see a type of gathering and love that is different from how people are conducting church these days.

    I just keep feeling like it is coming soon.


    1. Samantha! I hope you hadn’t become too emotional. I also used to be religious though I found it just wasn’t with me – it wasn’t so much of the scripture, there are great lessons there, it was the evangelical and salesperson attitude of the people in converting. Pressuring them to social gathering. I prefer the more distanced ways of the Catholic Church and I still attend mass sometimes.

      Why not give the more traditional Catholic Church a try? I love hearing the hymns and the choir.


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