Motivation · Traditional Values

Dare To Be Domestic: Traditional Living Against Society & Its Myths

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While all the advice I will be giving here is fairly practical, with work and finance, approaching dating and vetting, there is also the important point of- you. Before all those other matters. You need to be ready.

Being a Domestic Woman can be emotionally tough, since, like I had said before nearly everybody will judge you for it. In some cases, it’s blatant open discrimination and insult (not the pretend-kind SJWs love to pander). Especially if you don’t have children or aren’t married yet, most people nowadays (and that’s a generous ‘most’) only accept women staying at home if there are children. As if we are contractual home nannies!

A Domestic Woman does not stay home to be a nanny, we are there for the household, the house as a whole, whether there are kids in there or not.

Of course, kids as a factor determines how much time we spend at home, yet it is NOT the only reason we should be at home. A Domestic Woman should be free to dedicate time to her home and not be judged for it.

You will be judged though, a lot. That is the truth. Here are some myths you will see all around in modern Western society about Domestic Women and their families. Don’t believe them, as they are merely illogical and hypocritical societal expectations driven by Cultural Marxism and materialism.

Myth #1: Domestic Women are lazy and don’t want to work
“Why do you just want to be at home and do nothing?”
The problem really lies with feminism, which values women’s tax contributions as market products, really. They don’t see value beyond money and they certainly don’t see the value in the time we bring to our households because it doesn’t involve dollar signs. While we used to be valued for our home contributions in the past, we are now just reduced to numbers. It’s degrading and restricting if you really think about it. Housework IS work, no matter how you put it and time is priceless. It takes time and physical labour. Do you think the surfaces dust themselves and proper, healthy meals cook themselves if we are just sitting around with snacks and watching TV?
You are actually ‘working full-time’. Part-time work and housework both combine to having a week’s work, it doesn’t matter what the hours are exactly (society loves to measure by hour, instead of by wage and time). If you can be creative and figure out a way to earn more for your hour, that just means you are so much smarter that you don’t have to be out for the whole 9-5 and can manage your housework in that space and earn just as well. Your aim is to support the family, not to be the breadwinner.

Myth #2: Domestic Women cannot afford to be at home
“What about getting a house and saving? You’ll have nothing.”
“Oh, so you want a rich husband to support you?”
Western society is very much centred around financial comfort and high financial standards- this is something I have noticed as an immigrant. I came from a place where people literally die of starvation on the street if they don’t work. This is not the case in Western society, there are even helpful resources and support available if you really are struggling, you will never find yourself starving to death on the street. If you know how to budget well, live small and not have high financial standards (the big house, two cars, pricey schools, big gadgets, eating out constantly etc) you can afford to live well on one or one and a half income in the West. I’ve been doing it with my single father and sibling for years.
A rich husband won’t do you any good if he is bad at managing his money or is not resourceful or even looks down on you. What your husband or partner earns doesn’t matter (as long as it’s stable and decent, not minimum wage), it’s how he uses it for his family or loved ones that matter. It’s how he budgets, how he looks at the future and creates opportunities for himself (to either save or excel or both) that matters.
Mindset over asset.

Myth #3: Domestic Women are stagnant and dependent just being at home
“Don’t you want to use your talents in a career?”
“Why are you just depending on your family? Grow up and move out.”
Now this is a funky one. I actually see it as the opposite, when you are choosing to live with a smaller income and are not used to a big, constant pay check, you become adaptable and more resourceful in working part-time and making opportunities for yourself. You look outside the lens of the rat race and at alternative ways to earn and you actually have the time to cultivate ideas that you can pursue into a work opportunity or small business idea. I have my work from home position right now merely because I suggested a new feature for a company I knew and they wanted to give it a go. It starts small, then it’s up to you to be innovative and grow it.
As for being dependent, I will address this more in my Being With Family post, though all in all, there isn’t much sense in throwing money down the drain for rent to look better for society, is there?
Isn’t it more independent and actually financially logical to be with family/your partner to lessen expenses so you can save for your future? Your family’s future?
You can learn to be more ‘independent’ and responsible by helping your family with their logistics- paying bills, arranging contracts and managing expenses. Get involved. You are learning from the experienced and getting experience yourself.

Becoming a Domestic Woman means strengthening yourself emotionally and mentally for what’s to come, you are living a different lifestyle and society will constantly remind you of that, they won’t accomodate you or even recognise you at times. You become resilient, though, like the women in the old days. It’s important to know the reality and know the even better reality that what you are doing, thinking about it logically and based on your family (not society), is actually..quite awesome.

What does a married housewife have to say about this, after having chosen to marry and have children in the traditionally domestic way? It is possible and it is worth it.

In the end, you’re setting up your life to have the time to enjoy it, for your loved ones to enjoy it and when you’re old you can look back on all the experiences and memories you made by choosing this path.

Ultimately, you win.

10 thoughts on “Dare To Be Domestic: Traditional Living Against Society & Its Myths

  1. I always find it hilarious when people scoff at those who don’t “need” to rely on two incomes to “survive.” The West famously glorifies gratuitous expense on dining out, entertainment, more than one car, etc. when those are luxuries, and dining out was a special occasion when I was growing up. Nowadays, people eat cake and ice cream and pizza for every meal in a day, don’t have the will for even light physical labor, never mind hard work using elbow grease, complain about EVERYTHING, including not having enough time for this or that, but the fact is, time for “whatever” is whether or not you make it a priority. People who claim to not have time to cook at home and have meals together are usually wasting lots of it on needless things or activities like social media or garbage programming on TV, and we can of course, put society to blame for a bit of that being “normalized” (unfortunately). Long gone are the days when all young ladies learn from their mother before even being an adult how to do household chores and cook, take care of children, etc. A good woman also knows to how be thrifty and frugal and spend wisely to stretch the household dollar by being resourceful, efficient, and inventive when it comes to budgeting, shopping, housework, and preparing meals. You definitely have it right (in another article) that simple doesn’t have to mean not pleasurable. People want to live beyond their means and keep up with the Jonses, too. And of course, there’s always the career-oriented “ideal” that feminists set way back in the ERA days, that places higher value on a woman who is smart and go-getter in her job vs wanting to stay home and make it a place for her family to feel loved and taken care of.

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    1. It’s first world Western thinking. I admire the West and its people, being one of them, however non-immigrants have such a ‘high-standard’ view of life? It makes sense of their context though it’s important that they be aware that not being able to get the latest iPhone isn’t poverty.
      In a first world country (and most areas of the US), dollars can stretch somewhat and you’ll rarely find yourself in a dire situation, especially as a woman/with kids, on the streets and literally starving to death like people do in third world countries. Keeping with the Joneses is all about putting money and image above quality time with family. Your insights are definitely ringing true!

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  2. Also wanted to comment/ask something I’ve been thinking about… when you’re still in your early 20s, living (born and still living there) in a major city how do you support yourself until you meet and get serious with your traditional man? If you’re not from a wealthy family or they may need some help (I’m from NYC, by the way, and first gen born here) how do you support yourself? “Competition” amongst beautiful young, even very feminine women is very stiff here– I’m starting to see a resurgence of other young ladies from ages 16 to 24 turn back to traditional dressing and roles, by the way — so a girl must be well-groomed, well-dressed, etc.

    I don’t want to be a career woman, but the same time I need to live and help family still whilst also taking care of myself, diet/fitness that would lead me to attract my dream alpha, traditional man!
    Right now I’m looking into admin assistant/office jobs that pay well, but the time and personal commitment are not high so they don’t require much from me. Also looking into doing some personal styling where I can shop for people, give them style advice, etc (from a traditional view, of course) where I can have a few clients and choose a relaxed schedule…

    It’s like a Catch 22!! In order to find that traditional man who can allow his lady to stay home, it seems one most first have a job that pays well (or really well, rather, in a place like NYC circa 2018/2019) so she can keep herself up & show him that she takes her femininity seriously. Would love to hear your views/suggestions on this 😊

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    1. You are definitely welcome to ask!
      The short answer to that is to live with family or trusted friends. I didn’t realise that there is a competition over there with more conservative women, in Melbourne it’s the opposite haha. When you live with family/friends, you have more chances to show your domestic capabilities by looking after your home together and can save a lot more money (as well as time). That’s what I’ve been doing and now I’ve saved up quite a bit that I’m more ready than most people my age to settle down with someone and get a home.
      If you’re in NYC, I would suggest moving to somewhere cheap or maybe the outer suburbs? The key is to avoid as much expenses as possible. The less expenses, the more you can save and have space in your life since you don’t have to earn as much.

      Be flexible, have more than one job, you don’t have to have a 9-5. It’s great you are already looking at a variety of things, like personal styling. Look into the niches and see what you can find. Get a job there part-time, then another, if you live alone you can do up to full-time though if you choose to live with friends/family, leave some time in the week for your domestic responsibilities. That showcases your priorities and how traditional you are.

      Actually, I do not believe in that. It’s not a catch 22. Like I said, avoid as much expenses as you can (the added bills on top when you live alone, expensive rent by living with family/friends) so you can save and have time for your domestic responsibilities. If you just earn well, you’re just showing a financial/masculine side to you. What about the traditional and feminine?
      Read my posts on Part-Time Work https://thatstepfordgal.com/2018/04/30/dare-to-be-domestic-traditional-living-part-time-work/ and Financial Management https://thatstepfordgal.com/2018/04/28/dare-to-be-domestic-traditional-living-financial-management/
      I hope they give you some ideas!

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      1. Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply! I agree, I think I need to move from NYC soon. For one, I do live with a close relative, but even then, rent in this city is exorbitant for two. Second, men here seem to expect the feminist-leaning behavior of women due to previous women they’ve dated spoiling them or not necessarily *needing* them.

        I love to be at home cooking, tidying up and, if I had a garden, would tend to it.
        I feel like here it turns into a choice of either saving to move out and being able to live the domestic, traditional life that you truly dream of or risk becoming a hardened career woman with no husband. Sad reality, but just some things I’ve noticed. Will definitely read those posts and take your advice so I can move sooner rather than later! 💝

        Liked by 1 person

      2. No worries and you are more than welcome! Thanks for commenting 🙂
        It’s good to live with a relative, though yes at is is NYC, I am not surprised as to how exorbitant it is! Main cities can definitely have the drawback of feminist-leaning people.

        Move a little bit away. I don’t live too close to the CBD, though we picked a place with good transport. Then you can free up your time and finances! Don’t be the second option there. All the best, I hope my ideas can be helpful to you! 😀

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