Dating · Motivation

Dare To Be Domestic: Traditional Living & Dating Well

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Guess what? Traditional dating exists and as it is very much a small sub-section of society, it can be a bit of a hit and miss. What I do know is it takes time and patience, you have to be open to experiences and people. There is no exact place to meet traditional people (aside from more traditional churches) or an exact method. It is clear though, which places to avoid such obviously Lefty hotbeds and hipster centrals (Generally avoid!). Common sense stuff. However, there are a few things to keep in mind that will help you find a traditional man – though you will have your own path into it. Think of it as your unique story!

Be open and warm.
This is the first and foremost important thing. There are many things that can infuriate us traditional women, basically how most of society is ignoring their biological natures and roles, how we can be discriminated against or not even recognised, etc etc. Yet, being bitter and dwelling on how all those things in our modern society are affecting us changes our attitude in everyday life. How we react to things and how we carry ourselves, even down to our tone and facial expressions, can be sensed by others.
While it is important to be critical of all these issues, do not let your negative feelings mould your personality into a more negative one. People can sense when you are bitter and when you harbour plenty of resentment. There’s a reason why good men avoid feminists, since they’re always combative, negative and snide. The only men who like feminists are the submissive, beta type who are more internally feminine no matter how they look (if that’s your thing, sure). Greet everyday people and experiences neutrally, with the civility everyone deserves, unless they are aggressive or negative towards you.

When you meet men and new people, talk about your beliefs without pushing them, let them talk about their beliefs and just look at similarities and differences when it comes to a match. No need to launch into a heated debate or argument.

Smile and be pleasant, then people will want to speak to you, hear what you have to say and you can make new connections. Almost no one hates warm people.

Choose to date at places and platforms with a large variety of people.
You can date in person and meet people at meet up groups if that suits you, or you can date online if you feel there is a lot of variety of people on there. Unless there is a specific agenda or belief for a place/platform, chances are there will be a variety of people. Traditional men are not always going to be broadcasting their beliefs and be obvious about it, either because of mainstream society’s stronger prejudice against traditional masculinity or simply because it is cut and dry for them and they just don’t talk much about it. Everyone is different.
If someone is interesting and attractive to you, be happy to talk when they speak to you and learn about what they have to say first.

There is something to learn from every experience.
Dating can take a while and you can meet many people. While it is fine to reject or not meet people since you can see obvious mismatches or don’t have a preference for them, when you do meet someone you like and it doesn’t work – it’s fine. Focus on what you have learned about men and people in general and pay attention to those lessons so you can avoid future mistakes. I’ve had friends tell me a huge assortment of lessons, anything from avoiding guys who talk way too much about themselves to making a point of asking men about their aspirations at the first meeting, for clarity. With every lesson, you grow wiser.

Be clear with your values and do not ‘adjust’ for others.
This can be quite difficult. When you meet someone new, chances are most men are going to be fairly Liberal or modern, especially if you live in a Western society. That’s the reality of the probabilities- however, no matter how nice he is or how much his tastes in books and music fit yours (or maybe he’s just cute), if your values don’t match – they don’t. Don’t give in to the pressure of hiding your domestic and traditional values, don’t leave it to later. Don’t gloss over it. When he asks about what you do, just say that you are domestic and have both outside and inside work, because you believe in earning time and money. You can explain a little to add some context, then that’s it. If he doesn’t like that or is not open to that? Pass.

Always dress and present yourself well.
As women, no matter how much the feminists want to deny this, our beauty is our strength. To be specific, how we present ourselves. Beauty is a significant factor since men are very visual creatures, however beauty only becomes an authentic highlight about you once presented with grace and eloquence. Show that your beauty comes with proper manners, consideration of those around you and where you are, ladylike behaviour in all scenarios and intelligence that shines through your spoken word and wit. Beauty is not just about looking great though being a complete idiot or being a grumpy ‘informed’ feminist who is ugly. Beauty is a package consisting of more than just looks or intelligence, they both go hand-in-hand. Looks can be subjective as everyone has preferences though of course there is a general standard for healthy and fit looks. Intelligence can also be subjective, just because someone has several degrees doesn’t automatically mean they know how to be a critical thinker.

Dating is a tricky venture for both traditional men and women as we are just trying to find each other in large societies and communities. It takes plenty of effort and emotional strength. You have to think about it deeply and know yourself well enough before you get to know someone special for you.

It’s very well possible, if you put your heart and mind to it.

Dating is no game, it’s a venture for growth.

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