When it comes to domestic violence, any gender is capable and I strongly believe in that. I have known women, friends my age who have had abusive male partners who are the scum of the earth. Literal trash. You try and talk to and convince these friends to make better choices, you do what you can but let’s face it, such men are still disgusting and abhorrent to me.
Let’s face the other side too, women who are violent and abusive are just as disgusting and abhorrent. Though you know the difference?
They get away with it.
It’s true. A man can lay a hand on a woman the wrong way now and he will face the night behind bars with pending charges, a court order, the whole process. A woman doing the same thing? She gets a free ride home by the cops without so much as a slap on the wrist. This is not an exaggerated idea – this is a real situation that I have personally witnessed.
Men used to beat women in fact, in the medieval times it was completely allowed and at times encouraged (as stated by the historical book The Time Traveller’s Guide To Medieval England) and this was deplorable because women were treated like objects and property, when they are human. As the centuries and recent decades passed, laws have changed and the social attitudes have changed (rightly so) to punish such horrible men and warn against such behaviour. As it should be.
Though did you also know that women were also allowed to beat their own husbands in medieval times without any legal recourse? Simply because as women were viewed as objects and property, this has a strange advantage – they were not viewed as strong and equal enough to be able to actually hurt their husbands. Even when the reported accounts of wives beating their husbands with sticks and pans or pulling their hair. Instead of pity or concern, beaten husbands were actually the butt of jokes in medieval society and further humiliated because he was ‘henpecked’ by his wife.
While the attitudes regarding domestic violence against women have justly improved, the attitudes regarding domestic violence against men have basically stayed medieval in modern times.
There are countless shelters available to women who are victims of domestic violence, yet only one specifically for men. In the whole world. The Taylor House Domestic Violence Shelter For Men.
You heard that right.
Feminists and those who simply hate it when men get any help of any kind will argue that men simply don’t get hurt as much as women in domestic violence and that they are tougher and can handle more.
You know what the problem with that is? It’s because of such actual sexist attitudes that men do not report domestic violence. The most recent studies show 1 in 3 men suffer domestic violence in Australia. They take the violence continuously, they put up with the assaults, they just endure the abuse mentally and physically because they are told that as men, they are more disposable. So much for equality, if women are still being treated as more fragile than men. With this attitude in place, we actually don’t know the real figures of men being abused or as targets of domestic violence, very possibly more than what the statistics show since the research is so minimal and underfunded. There are barely any measures in place offering support, help or even just letting them know that they can be a victim and it’s okay to seek help.
Just like the medieval men, they’re probably afraid of being humiliated instead of helped.
Like we have improved the situations for female victims of domestic violence, let us balance the scales and also improve the situations for male victims. Real equality. It doesn’t matter the gender, both sexes suffer extensively from both emotional and physical abuse. It doesn’t matter what body parts we have. The suffering often also extends to the children and other family members involved, it’s the traumatised victims we should be doing this for.
Not power-grabbing gender politics.